Have you ever come to a point in your life that you wake up one morning and you do not find any purpose of yourself? Have you ever asked yourself why you still exist wherein most of the people you are living for do not value your existence anymore? Maybe they do, but they value yours for their own selfish and earthly reasons. It is true that God created us in His own image and likeness and we should live our own lives for His honor and glory but merely human as we are, we cannot help but doubt our own faith.
There are times that you almost give up. You feel like a human bomb that is ready to explode anytime you wish. You will feel the numbness in your whole body. Body as cold as corpse. Along with that state, is a deafening sound that only you could hear. A baffling voice rules your head. Telling you forcefully what to do. Loud perplexing colors band your vision. Cannot see justice nor reason. Makes you coldblooded as a worthless villain. Willing and able to slit the throat of a defenseless prey. Wanting more!
You are alone in the midst of a deep oblivion where no one has ever gone. No one has ever imagined to experience. No one would even dare try. A place that has never ever existed before. Watchful. Saving all the strength to protect the only remaining precious possession–life. Sensing. Longing for companions to mourn with. Yearning for souls who would share the same sentiments. Hankering for deliverance. Thirsting to break free.
What is the purpose of defending and living out your life of meaningless existence? What’s in store for you if you are living life as hell? You are restless! Exhausted! Burned out! Drained. Couldn’t fight no more. Why don’t you give up? Submit yourself! Surrender to the reality! Why not stop conquering darkness? Engulf it! It is an outrage! Be the most evil that you can be! Drag your soul to the rightful owner– the dark lord!
Your heartbeat is pounding fast! You can hear it. Faster and faster! Louder and louder! You are floating. Feeling feather-light that can effortlessly be blown by the wind. A long-awaited journey is about to take flight. Gliding. Flying every higher! Experiencing yourself frail and shattered. You can now feel pain. Numbness has gone away. Your face is drenched by the sweat coming down from your forehead. Suddenly a thunderous roar approaching from your core up your throat! Followed by a tear that would unshackle the rest of it from your tear ducts.
He has won over your soul! Because you looked at that infinitesimal speck of light from oblivion where you have gone. There is still faith within you that made you triumphant. That tiny speck resurrected you from the dark lord’s supremacy back to LIGHT. A place where every soul is persistently waiting to reach. A place where every man is eternally longing to come to. A place of forgiveness, love and contentment, happiness and bliss. A place where you wanted to be.
Hey!
I’m speechless, sir. mejo nag bleed ung nose Q!
well, there were times that also, i feel like i am super burned, super stressed and everything that goes with it.. I believe it’s natural for us humans to feel this way. Normal lang naman ang ma-stress, mapika, mapuno, mairita, masuka, magalit, mainis ang isang tao. I believe this is all because life is not also perfect. Our world is not perfect. We are not perfect. People we deal with are not perfect. We couldn’t be perfect. Alam ko naman pong alam ninyo un.. okey po ba ang ginagawa ko?
i came also to a point where i can’t find even a single reason to keep on living. Sabi nga sa pisang pelikula..”My life is a mess..” before, it seems that my life was really a total mess!
at that point in my life, i did ask God to take me..
(good thing was He didn’t listen!)
ganun po kagulo ang pananaw ko sa buhay ko! Hindi man po siguro ganyan ka-intense yung nafeel ko nun, somehow, i can relate. Sir, i hate to disagree, but for me, there is no such thing as MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE! One thing this strange life has thought me is that “Everything has its purpose. everything happens for a reason.” It may not be obvious today, now, but time will come that this person talking in your write-up will find it and eventually, understand it. God loves us. God loves you. He has His reasons why He is keeping you here. Kung ano man po yun, hindi ko din po alam. It is for you to find out.
It isn’t true that noone values ones existence. Kahit po iisa yan, at least merong nagpapahalaga di ba? Hindi lang xa ang mahalaga. Correct me Sir if i’m wrong pero alam ko pong you are waiting na ma-appreciate nia kayo… SHe is not EVERYBODY! Hindi man niya magawa yun, there are still other people who do appreciate you and the things you do. Just keep on doing the things you are used to.. AJA, SIR!
And, feelings like these feelings in your article would not last forever. It will fade eventually.. maaring bumalik, or magpabalik-balik.. but still, it goes. Yun para sa kin ang mahalaga. I could feel burned out, stressed, depressed, broken hearted, lonely sometimes or even many times in this lifetime, but i would not feel this way for the rest of my life. i won’t let that! Kayo ba?
At saka si Dark Lord, sa mga cartoons lang yun e. Kelan ba nanalo ang evil sa goodness? you are a good person Sir, stick with that. Just pray. I mean keep on praying. If hindi na talaga kaya…
magdadasal na tayo nila ate Cat at Vhea sa Quiapo ng nakaluhod! Magnonovena tayo. Makukulitan sa tin si God.. he will answer na our prayers. hehe..
No comment na sir.
PS: 4 any violent reactions, pls e-mail me na lang po sa address ko.
Thanks.. i enjoyed reading!
Keep the pen down, Sir!
Sabi nga nila, pag nanatili ka sa dilim ng napakahabang panahon, napakahirap na pumunta sa liwanag pagka’t nakakasilaw. Kaya habang nasa liwanag, manatli na tayo doon at huwag na tumalikod.
while i was reading this, images from star wars is flashing through my mind…
“Welcome to the dark side master Anakin”
and it is really true, if you have watched revenge of the Sith, sometimes when we want something to happen especially if there is no other way, we tend to look for ways that lead us to do bad.