Have you ever come to a point in your life that you wake up one morning and you do not find any purpose of yourself? Have you ever asked yourself why you still exist wherein most of the people you are living for do not value your existence anymore? Maybe they do, but they value yours for their own selfish and earthly reasons. It is true that God created us in His own image and likeness and we should live our own lives for His honor and glory but merely human as we are, we cannot help but doubt our own faith.
It has been too long since i posted my last blog. It is because i do not have enough time to log on and do the blogging, though am almost always eight hours a day sitting in front of my office pc. Since our institutional Christmas party just lasted an hour ago and am so damn bored waiting for my boss to come who is recently having her vincentian cooperative general assembly and give the signal that me and my three student assistants can go home, i suddenly thought of logging into my wordpress account and feed my hungry space with a short blog. I have been meaning to do this for months now. Am posting here a copy of a story in which I am positive that most people in the working class would be able to relate much with..
I hope the very few readers would be able to get something from this very interesting story…. read on…
It is because that roughly all of the things around us today are INSTANT; we tend to depend our lives on the instantaneousness of everything in our every attempt. The generation Y in particular is so much dependent on the conveniences brought about by the technological advancement that caused just about everything to be instant.
Since we are enticed by the results, we want everything to be in our enjoyment at once to make our life a lot easier not knowing that WE ARE GRADUALLY MAKING IT A LOT MORE COMPLICATED. Why? Here’s one instance why.
Everyday I feel like life is so unfair. Otherwise, is it just fair enough only I do not see it the way I should? I have come this distance not only because of the people along the way who helped me get this far but also because of my own efforts to achieve all my visions in life. Being the eldest among my siblings, I have to struggle and overcome every obstacle that comes my way just to reach for my dreams and mainly, to uplift our family’s standard of living. Lucky enough there are so many people who are willing and able to help me finish my studies. Lucky, I have a few scholarship offers back when I was in college that helped me a lot in paying all of my school expenses and tuition fees.
I cannot really express how I feel at this very moment. Mixed emotions that is. I would like to write a blog about it but no words would come out of my head. It seems so empty. Drained. Exhausted. It must have been so, because in the past few months I have been battling with myself. Battles wherein I have never been to before. I was like a knight who lost his armor and has nothing to protect his precious life with but to trust his instincts and God-given strength.
I have had so many experiences in life. Being the eldest in a brood of five I was so privileged to enjoy the freshest things that life has to offer. Was able to have the newest toys and clothing as a kid. Was able to enjoy everything I wanted to. Have tasted all the abundance in life. I have all my folks’ love, care and attention. Joy and contentment is everything to me but not until I have the rest of my siblings. It seemed that everything was lost in an instant. I admit I did not have everything but at least I tried to enjoy all that as I grow up.
Hmmmmmm…(stretching). Today I woke up feeling a bit lightheaded. I wasn’t sure if I woke up in the wrong side of the bed or what. It just doesn’t seem perfect. Feeling cranky. I did not do anything last night. I did not drink any alcoholic beverages or took any drug that would make me feel like hell upon waking up. I just had dinner with my gf in one of the local fancy restaurants which specializes in breads and pasta. We had to talk. I have to tell her about me and an encounter with an ex gf. I and my ex chatted the night before that dinner. She was telling me that she’s pregnant. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what she’s saying. I couldn’t understand what other words she said upon hearing the bad news. I mean not her. I was so worried. Worried for her not for myself because I am certain that I am not the father. I was worried that the child would grow up without a father. Will be living a life incomplete.